Finding Myself in God’s Word

Ever been minding your own business, reading your Word and then a scripture just hits you in the face? This happened to me when I read Matthew 5.48: “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father is perfect.” Ok wow, Jesus that’s a lot to live up to. Then the chapter ends and Jesus begins teaching about doing good deeds with the right motives. But wait—I wanted Him to expand on how I can be perfect as the Father is perfect. I am far from perfect…I have a pretty short temper, am marginally impatient with any and everything, I struggle with unbelief when my prayers aren’t instantly answered, and despite my best efforts I manage to sin often in the course of one day.

This scripture was so intimidating to me at first glance, at face value. Honestly, it made me want to give up because there was no way I could be perfect. I have known about God my whole life, was taken to church most weeks as a child and came into the knowledge of God when I was 14 and went through Confirmation—a process in the Presbyterian Church where a young person confesses their belief in Christ. Tantamount to “getting saved,” without calling it that. Don’t you just love the man-made religious rites of passage?

While I did this, I dove into the book of Luke and learned about Jesus via the King James translation, so I was still very confused about what it meant to have a relationship with God. While I’m grateful for the foundation I had as a youth, there was little emphasis on what living a life with Jesus looked like. As far as I knew Bible reading was for the Pastor, and then he was supposed to come teach it to the congregation. Full disclosure, I thought Jesus wrote the whole Bible…yes I’m serious…but in a way didn’t He? Man I was confused, kind of still am I suppose!

So each week would consist of checking the box: I went to church this week, now time to proceed with doing whatever I want without thinking about God. Then eventually there was no church.  Reading the Bible for myself was not a thing as no one ever explained to me the importance of taking in God’s Word daily much less comparing across translations. As I have rededicated my life in recent years and strived to have a relationship with God, I’ve learned about the importance of reading God’s Word. Thank GOD for the Bible apps that make these things so easy now. I can’t imagine sitting with dozens of Bibles in a row, looking up scriptures page by page and highlighting, searching for meaning. For starters, the writing is too small in most Bibles, and secondly, I told you that I’m impatient. I also love specifics , and the Amplified Bible is so good for me—a person who often requires more explanation and details. Example:

Matthew 5.48 in the Amplified says “You therefore, will be perfect [growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life] as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Pro tip: in the Amplified the bracketed portions typically offer more specificity, detail and explanation.

Growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life. Ok, so that’s what you mean by perfect, Jesus. Thanks, you know I need You to break it down sometimes…

I can say that I am actively doing things to grow into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, and I make a valiant effort to integrate godly values into my daily life. Some my ask what that looks like, and before I really started studying the Word I would say that it just meant being a “good person,” whatever that meant to me on any given day. But as I actively got into God’s Word—studying, learning, reciting and repeating—then this “good person” I was striving to become was a person more like Jesus. Being more like Jesus practically speaking may look like not gossiping in a lunchroom full of people that are grumbling their way through the day about anything from the temperature in the room, their boss, work conditions or the chair they are sitting in. Sometimes you end up being “that guy” who gets the eye roll for being positive. But that’s ok, people rolled their eyes at Jesus. Then they had Him killed. Striving to grow into spiritual maturity in mind and character may look like letting someone pull in front of you even though they rushed in front of everyone and now need to merge, then subsequently being flipped the bird by said person (this happened to me: #Houstontraffic).

So, am I saying that you should expect death for offering a positive note in an atmosphere of negativity? Or that every time you do a good deed you will be met with resistance and anger? No, but we are called to exist in this world while not being of this world. Consequently, if we’ve chosen to follow Christ this will result in some haters. John 15 in the Message translation (another of my favorite translations because it is pretty blunt) Jesus says: “If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of it’s own. But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you.” 1 Peter 4.14 (the Message translation) Peter says “If you’re abused because of Christ, count yourself fortunate. It’s the Spirit of God and his glory in you that brought you to the notice of others. If they’re on you because you broke the law or disturbed the peace, that’s a different matter. But if it’s because you’re a Christian, don’t give it a second thought. Be proud of the distinguished status reflected in that name!”

It may seem odd, but I get so much comfort from these scriptures—they help me find validation in a world and culture that has vilified Christians at every turn these days. Let me be clear, I have only in the past 7 years made efforts to integrate God into all areas of my life. Prior to that I was worldly, doing whatever I wanted with abandon and barely ever prayed or recognized God in my life. This looked like drinking, gossiping, premarital sex and using profanity in every other sentence.  Living “your truth” and ignoring God unless crisis or death was looming was my way of life for so long until I started cultivating a relationship with God by reading His Word. As I’ve studied the Word, it makes me want to put it into practice and be that much better—that much more like Jesus.  Yes this directly benefits me, but also my husband, my son, my family and all of my friends—including the ones that still have nothing to do with God.

This is my encouragement for anyone today who has been not going to church, has no knowledge of God, has been hurt by religious people or has been going to church, or hanging out with other Christians and then going about their business Monday through Saturday wondering why they’re still miserable. I’ve been in all of those places, searching for meaning and identity through people, career, money, and relationships. Get into the Word. Alone. Often. If you like balance and structure, make it a balanced and structured situation. If you’re like me and no day looks the same, just make it a point to get some time in the Word daily. Listening to sermons, engaging in praise and worship during the week and going to church are all great, and things that have been vital for me taking my spiritual walk to the next level. But reading God’s Word has offered a measure of balance and increased spiritual maturity unlike anything else. Feeding off other’s spirituality and time with God will only feed you for so long. Eventually you have to get in with God and get to know Him for yourself. That’s how I’ve grown up.